Sonya over at The Ramblings of a Former Rock n Roll Mum tagged me! I have to tell you what I want. I want lots of things, actually and I started this WAY too long ago so I probably want even more now.
I want a normal back again. It’s no fun waking up every morning with a mild back pain. It hasn’t stopped me doing things but it does slow me down. I know when to stop, but I can still do things like Race For Life (and run!) – so it’s not a huge problem, it’s just an annoying problem.
I want to hear properly again. I’ve had tinnitus for around eight years now, so if anyone talks to me in a low voice then you can guarantee I wont hear them properly. I generally just sort of go “ahh, uh-huh, yeah” rather than asking to repeat what they’ve said. It takes too long. If I could just rewind back to that week when I saw Guided By Voices at ULU and the ringing went after a day, then two days later saw Mojave 3 at Dingwalls and went down the front and that was it, and tell myself it’s going to mess up my ears forever, maybe I might listen, or realise those were warning signs it was about to go forever.
I want an endless supply of chocolate. I’m still doing the Thinking Slimmer SlimPod and it’s funny as I’ll now walk through the supermarket and get to the chocolate section (always positioned near the tills in case of queues) and I don’t see chocolate any more. It’s odd. But I do weaken at Montezuma’s, terribly so.
I want to play the guitar without fear. I play with a fear of breaking strings. It’s a silly fear to have as it’s a string, but in all the years I’ve played I’ve never broken one. Maybe I need to live out my fears to get over it.
I want to get over my fear of deep water. I don’t show H I have the fear as she’ll copy me. But I have the fear. I can go to about six feet and then there’s that slope as the pool gets deeper. Ugh. At some point soon H will be swimming on her own. I’ll be taking her to classes and leaving her there while she has a lesson on her own. We’ll go swimming as a family and I will jump in the deep end with no fear. Nope, it’s not happening.
I want to feel normal once more. Normal for me isn’t like normal for you. Normal for me is feeling a bit like the outcast, the one who joins in a conversation and the conversation stops stone dead. You know that kind? Yeah. that’s me sometimes. So I’d like to feel normal again and have someone go “oh yeah!” and the conversation continue. It’s a little disconcerting when it happens more than once. I know better now, I shut up instead.
I want someone to sort through my possessions please. I have Too Much Stuff. If anything can be sold I want them to sell it for me, and if anything can be freecycled then that too please. A touch of the life laundry, maybe?
I want to stop buying things too. This adds to the problem above. Having said that, you can never have too many bags – Shaun is SO wrong. I’ve taken to hiding the new ones…
I want to take H to the York Panto. It’s time. She’s old enough. She’ll cope. She’ll be fulfilling my only family tradition which isn’t even really a family one as my sister hates the panto and my mum goes another time. Berwick Kaler and my daughter are going to meet, I swear. Having said that, I have no idea when we can actually get to York, we may have to make do with Sid from Cbeebies instead in Croydon.
I think that’s enough of my things I want right now. I’m going to tag some pals to say what they want. Come in come in, your time is up Ms Exeter Mums, Ms Princes Poet’s Life Adventures, Ms Mummy vs Work and Ms DreamyMummy. What do YOU want?