I think I have some sign above my head saying “talk to me like I’m an idiot or two-year old” as I had so much of it yesterday I wanted to crawl into a hole and pretend I wasn’t there. I’ve had loads of it in the last week, and having a kind of overwhelming “don’t be so pathetic” response back.
It’s very wearing and draining and after a while you start to wonder if maybe it’s me, as so many people seem to be doing it.
What’s worse is I take it home with me and stew over it, stew a little bit more and then have a sleepless and unsettled night.
Fortunately I can remember my dream; It was a weird random event with celebrities. My Bloody Valentine were DJs, and Jedward made an appearance. Jordan was also there, very pregnant and with her new husband who now has long dreadlocked fake hair like the kind she had when she entered the jungle all those years ago. MBV played some good tunes too, very jolly, no feedback. I can’t remember what the event was, but I do remember in my dream I kept telling everyone “I used to work in music once” and went trying to find Jedward so I could take a photo of me and them to show my friend Lynn (who follows them on tour – that bit is real, not in the dream). Jordan was really nice and we talked about nail varnish.
Which doesn’t sound that anxious really.
Today we’d be running around like crazy people but instead we’re waiting in for several deliveries. This is a good thing, I feel tired. I hope you’re all singing the Bucks Fizz song too. Here’s a reminder.