Tonight I really shouted at H.

I feel kind of bad.

We never shout at her. I’ve always made a point of telling her off in a low voice or a cross one, but never shouting. Tonight was one of those wrong times – she was kicking her legs in anger while lying back on the chair, and missed kicking me in the head by a short distance. She wasn’t listening.

I saw red.

I gave her a right bollocking. She was really confused – we never shout at her. Ever.

In the grand scheme of things kicking me in the head isn’t a good thing, but it’s not bad behaviour either – it was frustration on her part. My part? It was the almost getting kicked in the head. Almost as soon as I’d shouted I had to lower my voice and be calm – which also was weird.

Anyway, once my voice calmed down she apologised without a prompt. I really don’t want to shout again, it isn’t fun. Even when we do time out it’s calm and firm and telling her why, even if she refuses to listen.

I think I’ll stick to Tears For Fears in future… not the weird rap at the end though.