I bought a portable doppler, but it only works from 12 weeks. I’ve entered my 10th week today, so that’s not long, and of course we’ll try next weekend. My retroverted uterus probably wont help matters, though – unless it’s corrected itself. Too much information there, I know.

I felt all sad yesterday, truly alone. Cried my eyes out, Shaun asked why. Because, once he’s done his two weeks of paternity leave, I’m on my own. From 8am until 7pm every weeknight, just me and the baby. It truly terrifies me. I know nobody here. I’m sure I’ll get to know people. I hope I will. Anyway, Shaun’s response “you’ll manage” – and he’s right, I know I will, it was just the “you” rather than “we” which set me off. I know I’m going to be doing the bulk of it. I also know that I’ll be lucky and he’ll be around for some study days from time to time when exams happen (though it’s not like we’ll go out for picnics or anything, he’ll be studying), but it all just hit home that little bit more than it has done up to now.

Today I’ve nagging abdominal pains, which a paracetamol seems to have fixed. I’m training myself to sleep on the left side (good for baby, good for my digestion, plus apparently it can help prevent you from getting piles if you sleep on the left), and stupid shriek laugh man from next door got to his girlfriends (our next door neighbour, I’m probably not clear there) at around 2am or 3am this morning, shrieking with laughter at how he’d forgotten his house key. Oh, and waking me up. Twat. (this all wouldn’t be so bad had he not had his overexaggerated shrieky laugh going on last weekend too).

God, people.