the more time you take to let it all sink in, the more you think “did I do this wrong?” and so on. Yesterday I burst into tears in the middle of a shopping centre, and just felt like the worlds most useless failure. It’s probably all normal, to feel this way. I just want to be pregnant again, and make the 12 weeks.

I’m making changes too. Less alcohol (not that I drank that much anyway), more fibre. I will lose that extra weight, it will help. I can repeat to fade, but after a week of bad food (comfort eating), I’m ready to make sure that I’m in as good a shape as I can be.

Then hopefully the countdown begins again – when every hour feels like the longest hour, when every week slowly ticks by. This time I’ll be prepared, and I wont think of failure, even though it’s going to be stuck in the back of my head (which I also think is normal, by the way). Bring it on, I’m ready.