I was going to write a long rambly post about how excellent my friends are. I did write it, in fact. It’s sat in drafts being thought about; I don’t need to tell the world though. Not right now.
For the last three years I’ve had a really good network of friends – from our last days of pregnancy into the first days of motherhood and onwards – mainly my NCT gang, though also other friends I’ve made along the way. Our children have grown up together, friends forever (maybe?), all becoming their own little selves as we trundle along in no particular hurry.
Then preschool kicked in – and childcare issues which meant days were swapped at work or gained in the office by my friends. Oh, and then I moved up from three days a week at work to four. Suddenly I only had Wednesday afternoons to see people – and suddenly all those friends I had ended up losing their free time to free nursery places, so it’s Wednesday and I’m back on my own again.
I’m fine with this, by the way. There’s so much to do in so less time that having just an afternoon to do stuff means that sometimes the week flies by – especially when we’ve a full weekend ahead.
New friends come along and they fill that gap in the afternoon that the other friends used to have but don’t any more. That’s just life, and I’m being realistic in that next September (when H starts school) my life is going to change considerably – no more Wednesdays off, and just afternoons to do things instead.
Suddenly the gap has widened so much – my NCT girls who I used to see weekly I now see every couple of months – or if I’m lucky I’ll bump into one outside nursery, or one on the train in the morning – that’s just how it is right now.
I remember when everyone slowly went back to work after maternity leave and I was the last one – on my own back then too. My solution was to start classes – doing Sing & Sign and swimming lessons, making the point of meeting other mums so I wouldn’t be on my own – and it worked. I’d go to the Sure Start Centre over the road from us for their Messy Play sessions. Things were good. Things ARE good.
So again, I’m on my own. This time it’s fine though, we know so many people we’re never short of something to do which is good – and I’m getting out and having social nights, meeting more local mums away from our kids which helps things too.
Things really feel like they’re clicking into place and it’s great. I really feel like we belong – and it’s taken a very long time to feel that way. But I do miss my friends. That’s all.