When you write a post several times and it never sounds right, part 3.
There have been deaths. I knew it would come at some point because we don’t all live forever. However, I also knew that whatever happens H will be involved because we have zero family close by so whatever we do involves the three of us and our family unit.
The first death happened suddenly and unexpectedly. Shaun’s Nanna, H’s Great Nanna died. She lived in Australia. So after a quick talk, going from ‘we can’t afford it’ to ‘maybe we can do this somehow’, from her dying on the Thursday we had booked tickets to Australia, flying out the following Tuesday.
Fortunately with Australia we have family so it’s not an expensive trip other than getting there. For some reason the gods of cheap flights were looking down on Shaun on the Saturday morning we booked them. Prices lowered by over £1000 so we quickly booked, paying just under £3000 to travel.
The thing with Australia is that you can’t just stay for a couple of days and come home as you’re on the other side of the world. My work were brilliant, I took my laptop and did loads while I was out there – even working on my holidays to keep on top of things. We still got to do fun things through the day thanks to the time difference so H was never bored. H loved being around her Australian family and I’m glad she has better memories of everyone now.
Obviously a funeral is a sad place to be with your family (as it would be nice just to be with your family), but being out there for longer and being around everyone was a good place to be. H got spoiled rotten and I started sleeping again after having had the best part of four months of little or no sleep at all.
H dealt with the funeral well. She knew what she wanted to do, and while sad, made sure that we knew what she wanted too. She was mentioned several times, it was a lovely service.
We were back in London a week or two and I found out my godfather died. A heart attack. So now we find ourselves heading to Swansea on Wednesday for his funeral. After a lot of talking (actually, that’s not true, we did more emailing about it, we’re too tired to talk about important stuff unless we absolutely have to) we decided H should stay in London. I’ve failed in that I haven’t sorted out somewhere for her to have a sleepover tomorrow night, so our lovely next door neighbours have said they’ll take her in early on Wednesday, and another friend will call to drop her off at school.
She was set to have a playdate with another friend later that day, so they’ve agreed to let her stay as long as necessary – until we get back to London which hopefully won’t be late.
I have a lovely circle of friends and I feel like we all do each other favours when we can, and I’m never too scared to ask. I don’t feel like I’m imposing on them.
I’m glad I kept in touch with my godfather, even if it was just Christmas cards. I don’t send many out, but the few I do he was always on there. I’ll be sad, but glad we can go and pay our respects.
So that has been the last month or so. Death. H’s first real experience of it and actually, she was fine. I know the older she gets the harder it will be, but for now the weight is lifted knowing that she dealt with it fine. The first time we’ve had to juggle childcare and make sure school fitted in too (although school would have been fine with her taking a day off for a funeral because of the travel involved).