Back pain, old friend. You returned. Most unwelcome. All I did was cough and you clicked out, and that was it. I could just about walk, just about stand, just about lie down, though my head was telling me it needed sleep. This was after two nights of no sleep due to the aforementioned cough.

Stupid cough.

I knew it needed help as I was hobbling. Then the panic sets in; will I get to work this week? Will everyone at work be rolling their eyes in a ‘here we go again’ fashion? (I can’t blame them) will I have to take the train this week? Will it go again while I’m on the train?

Phone the Osteopath. Tried a new one. Answerphone. Panic. Call the old one and get offered a 4pm appointment. But I have to pick up H from school then. Oh yes, even with a sore back life goes on (slighly modified). Manage to get a 4.30 one.

Tell work. Panic. Start shaking. The shaking doesn’t stop until I’m overheating in bed. Wondering if it’s back related or the cough. Google everything and decide to read up on Gall Stones even though there is no reason why. Lie down.

Clock watch. Shaking. Panicking. But I’m at home. Wanting Shaun to be home but he’s busy at work. Cry for a bit. Post on Facebook (a big no no when you’re off sick for obvious reasons) and get some support and brilliant suggestions to help. We need a dehumidifier. Too tired to browse Amazon.

Eventually 4pm comes and I hobble out of the house to school. H’s after school club is late and I realise I need to keep moving. Slight loss of dignity practising pilates stretches to stay sane. She appears and we go home, then straight back out to he Osteo. She’s as good as gold and looks embarrassed when she sees me in my bra.

As feared, my troublesome left side is too tough to crack and takes two people. A cough, I tell you.

But I’m sore. Get home and prep frozen veg and pasta. Shsun arrives home and the other Osteo phones.

They offer acupuncture. I’ll try anything. They also offer three monthly check ups, body MOT’s, something I’d been wondering about. They’re also only open Monday to Friday and have an early morning slot this Friday. I need it. They try to find answers. I need answers. I take the booking and email work. Then panic, shake and am frozen.

Bed is the only thing with extra duvets – and eventually I settle for sleep with Shaun steaming me with the iron (didn’t work) and getting a bowl of hot water (did work) to stop the coughs. I fall asleep but a beep wakes me up with a jump five seconds later.

In fact, I sleep badly again all night, dropping off until I needed to cough, repeat to fade. With each cough came back pain and the panic. If your back goes at night you’re doomed.

Wake up, no longer shaking, angry H who also wants cuddles, this afftects her too. Stiff lower back but feeling okay, not 100% but coping. Repeat to fade until you start to forget about it and normal life recommences. Hope you can deal with this pain until Friday. Dream about going back to work. Keep the painkiller businesses in business, repeat to fade.