jo

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Difficult.

In Parenting on September 27, 2020 at 4:04 pm

Things are difficult. We’ve hit the angry tween years, ones I remember vaguely well from my time going through it.

The child doesn’t think the parent understands it, the parent doesn’t understand why the child doesn’t use their head and help with things, rather than wait to be asked.

Until you’re told by the child to get out of their space, they don’t want you in there any more.

The first few times you can call it out, tell them it’s not nice to speak like that.

But you end up ground down, ground up into the smallest of pieces where you’re no bigger than a speck that is about to get trodden on. So it happens. This time there’s no means to respond. Just keep quiet and get out. Move on. I’m in my place.

Then you find space. You hope you’re doing this right. You hope you’re not royally messing up that child’s life by dealing with it like that, so they end up dealing with everyone else like that. After all, aren’t us parents the testers in life as to how you deal with angriness, arguments and more? We teach the calm way to deal with things in the hope that it passes on to their peers in similar situations.

This isn’t the first time, it won’t be the last time, I’m so ground down I don’t have the emotional capacity to be upset by it any more. I just switch off.

Space, we all need space. Headspace, life space. Give each other space.

Confusion.

In General on August 2, 2020 at 9:45 am

I’m 50. There’s talk of people over the age of 50 going into mandatory lockdown should things get worse.

My mum has been in a care home since her fall at the end of the year, about to go home for the first time since Christmas.

Am I allowed to see my mum?

There are talk of bubbles and groups of people you can meet. We have nobody in our bubble, I’m not entirely sure what a bubble should be, or who a bubble should be. Do we have our own exclusive bubble, and that’s it, or do we have several bubbles?

H was in a class bubble at school. That meant she was with the same people through the day, and walked home with them. But if she bumped into someone who wasn’t in her bubble while walking home, that was okay. I think, because they were outside. But I don’t know if that’s one of the rules.

When we go back to see my mum, I can’t go into the house. That’s fine, we can sit in the garden. However, should I choose to enter an establishment which involves paying for something, and my mum does too, we can both be inside, as long as we don’t sit together.

My mum is 75. We have no guidance whatsoever about what sort of shielding she should be doing. She had pneumonia earlier this year, and doesn’t really understand. I’ve insisted she keeps away from areas which might put her at risk, and that she has a face mask. It doesn’t feel like enough.

We’re staying in AirBnb’s on our upcoming break. We can’t stay at my mum’s (as we can’t go inside the house) which is fine. Each host has an excellent rating, and we’re looking forward to going away. However, what happens if an area we’re visiting goes into lockdown? Are we meant to stay at the AirBnb or are we meant to go home? What would Cummings do? Barnard Castle isn’t that much further up the road…

So yeah, confusion is still with us, thanks to the unclear messages from the Government. I’ve read the guidelines and it’s still as clear as mud.

Anyway, I need to lose some of my weight gained in lockdown. I’m going to make the most of all those half price takeaways in the local junk food shops like McDonalds. Ummm.

A Rethink.

In General on June 9, 2020 at 4:59 pm

Every single post I’ve made here or imported here from elsewhere is private now. H is of an age where it’s hilarious to Google things, especially what her mum has written about her for the past twelve or so years. (she’s ten but there’s all the pregnancy stuff in there too)

So maybe for now we’ll just concentrate on parenting rather than achievements – after all, she’s ten now, and the kind of achievements she’d get wouldn’t be the sort you’d write a blog about.

“Congratulations! You have 100% attendance this term” yaaawwwn.

I’m thinking there should be parenting achievements really. “Congratulations, you got your child to school on time all year” or “Congratulations, they handed in their homework on time thanks to your nagging” or something along those lines. “Congratulations, you made it through Junior School and only joined three PTA’s”.

Yeah.

It was all going so swimmingly well, plenty of learning, plenty of social things going on and then of course it all stopped. The 2020 Lockdown. It has thrown something of a wobble to H’s last years of Primary School, with her not at all keen to complete it (she’s doing fine at home and has to work, just like I do). After hearing reports from other parents who have sent their kids back, being kept in your little bubble and kept from socialising with other kids is going to make for a very weird end to your time in a school.

We’ve opted not to send her back – for now.

This has resulted in a love of baking. Oh my, the baked goods. We’ve had cookies, peppermint creams, scones and she’s currently looking into doing some Ramadan confectionery (ticking off a section for one of her Guide badges in the process).

My parenting skills seem to be practical things like making sure we have clean clothes and cleaning the bathroom. Shaun is looking after almost every aspect of cooking, H does whatever she does. We have not yet run out of food, though we’re low on our yeast supply.

So yeah, let’s try this again. We’re doing okay, it’s going okay and I’m going to create certificates to present to myself. Or maybe at a push, a rosette. I did create a gold award for anyone in the office who accidentally presses ‘reply to all’ on a company-wide email, so it’s not *that* hard….