When Your Child Comes Home and Says

“Mummy, a boy spat at me today”

What do you do?

When she doesn’t tell you “four children pushed me into the mud and it made me sad”; though she didn’t cry because she didn’t want them to see she was sad; just wiped her shoes and made her way back into school without telling anyone.

What do you do?

I know this behaviour comes with school. Inside I’m feeling sad for her. Outside I’m glad she’s talked about it, even if it took two days.

The first case, a classmate told a teacher on H’s behalf. She would have said something (she claims) which I’m not entirely convinced so I’m glad her friend did.

The second, she didn’t tell anyone. Four kids pushed my child into some mud they weren’t allowed to walk on. She told them that she knew they weren’t allowed in the mud, and to stop. They all did it again. Just twice. Four kids.

I’m so pleased she stood up to them, I’m so pleased she didn’t cry in front of them. I really hope this isn’t something which will happen more than once. So proud she spoke up and wasn’t scared.

But also, I have this kind of… what makes four children push a child like that? Did H do something to provoke them into it? Obviously as her mother I say that she wouldn’t, so could the four children just be ganging up on her? That’s what I don’t want to believe. Peer pressure, maybe? Two girls, two boys pushed my child, maybe to get her in trouble as she’s doing okay at school? There’s no point in guessing. I’m not trying to justify what they did. I’ve told H she knows who her good friends are and to stick with them.

But also, if they do it again to make sure a teacher knows. But most importantly of all, make sure Shaun and I know. She told Shaun but “couldn’t remember” who did it. After chatting about it with me she “remembered”.

All I can do right now is tell her this happens, and it’s not kind when it does. That if someone does it an adult needs to know. That it may not look like something has been done immediately, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t.

She’s in reception. What are the next ten years going to be like?

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4 thoughts on “When Your Child Comes Home and Says

  1. Sonya Cisco says:

    Ugh. I know they are just kids, but the phrase what utter B******s springs to mind. Poor H, and poor you. I get totally Mummy Lion when people are mean to my kids. You have done all the right things, but makes my blood boil that people are being so mean to such a delightful little girl. GGGrrrrrr.
    Sonya Cisco recently posted…On train journeys and being trapped in HarrodsMy Profile

    • jo says:

      Thanks Sonya – I’m hoping there’s more to it and it isn’t just nasty behaviour, but as you’re probably well aware, getting what happened exactly out of a four year old is almost impossible. It’s kind of “well, they pushed me twice. OOOH LOOK AT THE CURTAINS! CAn I have an apple? I want to watch tv!” and so on… xx
      jo recently posted…When Your Child Comes Home and SaysMy Profile

  2. Jo says:

    Oh this makes me so sad, I know you can’t protect kids all the time but why do other kids enjoy being mean. I hope this doesn’t effect H’s view of school. I would have a word with the teacher anyway.

    • jo says:

      I’m hoping it’ll be something that has a logical reason (like part of a game they were playing or something) but it’s difficult getting information out of her – too much going on I think!

      She seemed happy yesterday which was a relief, so hopefully it has passed. I think I might mention it, although it’s finding/making the time… they’re always so busy at pickup :(
      jo recently posted…When Your Child Comes Home and SaysMy Profile

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