Conclusion : You can get to where you want to, it just takes a while.
Me : What would you like for tea tonight?
H : spaghetti bolognese!
Me : We don’t have any spaghetti, I need to buy some – shall we have soup instead?
H : No, I want Spaghetti bolognese
Me : We don’t have any spaghetti. We have carrot soup though.
H : I don’t want carrot soup. I want spicy soup.
Me : I can make the carrot soup spicy?
H : I want carrot soup, not spicy carrot soup.
Me : (phew) Okay, carrot soup it is.