I was taken to one side tonight at nursery. H was sitting reading, doing nothing during the day today, and one of her friends (she’s told me who, so I know it’s a good kid as well which is why I’m sad) told her to “go away, I don’t want you here” – and was asked to apologise to her.
H says she didn’t, but I’m sure she did. She’s a good kid.
It recalled the pain, horrible memories of school I want to forget. The one where I was bullied and picked on and not part of the crowd. Please don’t let this be starting now – she’s too young for all this. Please let it just be a toddler phase and something which will pass.
H seemed okay about it, but a bit sad too.
I just feel slightly heartbroken, heartsinkingly sad, could it really happen again this soon? She wont remember a thing and hopefully we’ll forget it, but just the fact it’s happened… so tonight I’m cuddling my baby. Things will be okay.
I’m really hoping it’s not because she’s got glasses and is ‘different’ too. The staff at nursery are all being fantastic and letting H know she looks so grown up and cool in her glasses, so I hope she’ll develop a thick skin and shrug it off.
I guess I can tell her that actually, 25-30 years later things will be okay, you’ll be friends on Facebook and there’s nothing to worry about, and that she will get through it. But it sucks when it starts, big time.
My daughter had a couple of problems when she was very little, and actually those did just blow over. It is now she is 7 that the meanness is a bit more malicious and intentional rather than just stating a fact that she found hurtful. The girls know they are hurting her, and they're happy about it – that's what scares me now. I was never bullied, but I wasn't popular either, and I think it does make us react more strongly when our own children go through problems. Thanks for popping this in the comments over at mine. If you want to put it into the linky tool as well, please do
That makes a lot of sense. Right now they say things and do that horrible fake over-laugh (H is an expert at that)- the other child is moving into a different room as well, so they're not in as close contact as before. I'm hoping it's just words that mean nothing, I really do… I guess her wearing glasses as well as this has brought out all my insecurities too!
I'll add to the linky – I wasn't sure earlier as I was on lunch and rushed and stressed, but I've had time to read again – thankyou!
My twins were at preschool and start reception in September. I think they are learning. They hear words and try to use them in context. The other day one twin turned round and said to me 'I hate you mummy' I know this couldn't be further from the truth as she's the first to jump into my arms for a cuddle so I explained it wasn't a nice word.
Later she tried it on daddy who tried to explain too.
I wonder if they try this new word on each other or school mates too? But I'm convinced they don't understand it all yet
We had a "Go Away Daddy!!!!" this morning, so I know a lot is what they're learning… it's heartbreaking though, isn't it?
Hopefully it is just something they'll work out (with guidance from us parents of course!) – I hope so….!
I spent some time at a day nursery in Lewes where another boy refused to let me leave the corner and play, just kept pushing me back and saying, “You have to stay there!” and I was only small and I had no idea what to do about it. I guess learning to deal with mean people is part of life and it’s probably good to learn coping strategies early. H will be fine cos she’s an ace kid and she’ll find her own voice. Maybe a Topsy and Tim book is a good ‘cheer up’ treat for when a day doesn’t go well?
That sounds like a good plan – actually, I wonder if there's a 'Topsy & Tim Get Bullied' type book – Topsy and Tim seem to cover every single situation when Miffy doesn't! I should try and find a book which helps explain it (as she seems to 'get' books quite quickly)
How old were you when that happened? That's the other thing, I wonder how much she'll remember.. I keep thinking the same, having all this time at nursery should prepare her so well for school – gulp…
I was probably about the same age as H. Looking back I think the boy probably just wanted to play and that was his idea of playing and I’d been pretty isolated up til then and wasn’t really sure what it all meant!