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H sat with me, and looked sad. “Mummy, school is getting so difficult at the moment” she told me. She burst into tears. “I’m finding it really hard. We’re being taught some really difficult things”.

I gave her a big hug. She’d unknowingly hit a lot of her end of year targets by the first term this year, so it doesn’t surprise me she’s getting pushed a bit, but in doing so, is it all too much? I don’t know. I just reassured her, told her not to be sad, and that it’s okay not to get it straight away, as it would make sense at some point. That it’s okay. That she mustn’t feel bad if she thinks she’s the only person who doesn’t understand.

She works hard. She keeps up with the work, but this is the first time I’ve seen the pressure from school being brought home, where she thought she couldn’t cope.

(this was then followed with her testing me on maths, as I said I knew everything in the world as I’m a mum, this is a known fact you know)

“so what’s three times twelve then mummy?” she asked. I answered “thirty six” which as we all know is correct. “WOW! How did you know that mummy?” she said “you got it RIGHT! TA DAAAA!” which also makes me wonder what it is she finds so hard at school, she was too tired out to remember.

They learn so much more in Year 1 than I ever did – I know this year they have to jump to Year 2 standard to keep up with all the curriculum changes implemented by our previous government. I know I was reading and writing at her age, but all this maths too? Times tables? That didn’t happen until the second year of junior school. It’s no wonder she feels pressured and no wonder I can relate to the pressure. But she can do it, she’s probably just a bit overloaded, right? She loves school, she loves learning.

So then the Tories come up with this fabulous idea. Keep children in school from 8.30am to 6pm. Awesome! This is great for so many reasons.

1. I will never see my child but can spend my entire day at work earning loads of money to pay for our vastly overinflated rent as we’re a) too old to buy under any dodgy Tory scheme and b) slaves to our rent and the area we live in, despite our rent being double what most people pay for their mortgage.
2. I won’t have time to cook a meal at night, so we’ll have to rely on ready meals and things like that, thus putting money into the chain supermarkets which I’m sure probably help fund the Tories too.
3. I won’t need a childminder any more – so she’ll effectively be out of work and earning less!
4. H will be exhausted, so will sleep well every night. I can only hope we’ll get homework too to really get those eyes a closing.

This is a great idea because….

1. My five year old daughter will see what it is like when she starts working in fifteen or twenty years time. Brilliant.
2. Her school holidays will be shortened from 13 to 7 weeks, so the teachers will be exhausted too, the Holiday Clubs will have to move somewhere else to accommodate the extra children, but at least they won’t go bust like our childminder will.
3. Holidays will still be expensive, but that’s okay as we’ll all be working as there are SO MANY JOBS (apart from the people who’ve all lost theirs thanks to all these changes)!! Hallelujah!
4. Youth Crime will be reduced. What a relief. I still remember the day when someone at my junior school set fire to it. It took us ages to hear the alarm as we were in a little prefab outside the main building.

What bloody awful ideas. This country really scares me at the moment. I can be sarcastic about it all I want, but my daughter’s education isn’t going to suffer.