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I hate that I’ve had diabetes and it’s hanging over my head all the time, one day I might just get it back if I don’t look after myself. I’m happy to look after myself, I just don’t need another thing hanging over me (see also : cancer – both parents have/had it).

Now this may not be the most rational of thoughts, but bear with me on this. See, I really resented the fact I’d brought H into this world with me having had diabetes, putting her at risk of it later in life. Is it really fair in life to want to bring a further child into the world when actually I’ll probably be putting them at risk too? It’s my own selfish reasons for more children and I’m not entirely sure it’s correct. Then again, did my mum have undiagnosed diabetes when she had me? (I was a very big baby, some may say I still am) So many questions there may never be answers to.

Also. I’ve had an evil rash on my leg for a few months now, since around May. It fades then gets worse and I’ve no idea what it is. No, I am hopeless and rubbish and I’ve not been to see the doctor about it. However, my good friend who gets mentioned a lot, Jos sent me this link today, and it’s terrified me enough I’m going to be phoning the doctor tomorrow if only to rule it out. My only thought it might not be is due to having it right before getting pregnant with H, and it going away while I was (so when I had diabetes). You know what’s worse? I’m doing exactly what my mum does when something goes wrong. Exactly what my dad did too – it’s not important, we’ll get around to it. You know that way of thinking? Don’t want to make a fuss? Yep.

Please feel free to boot me up the backside if only to get an appointment and a diagnosis. If it is diabetes related then I’ll deal with that another time.