Phew. In just under three weeks at school I’m finding myself smiling and saying hello to other mums, confused where I know them from but knowing I know them. There’s been meetings and coffee mornings and more meetings than I can remember.
I’ve joined the PTA and attended my first AGM, and we’ve another meeting tomorrow night in the pub. My kind of meet. I may need to insist on name badges to remember people’s names, as all of a sudden we’re not (insert child’s name)’s mum any more. We’re ourselves again.
I’m missing it.
Doing five days work again (and I haven’t even done a full week yet) and I feel like I’m getting myself back, and I really don’t like it. I’ve enjoyed being H’s mummy for the last four years. That bit is never going to go away but now I’m becoming Jo again. I’m finding myself again and today it felt lonely. The little team of H and I taken away from me now school is here I’m back at square one, luckily with a little girl who wants me at the end of every day.
Apart from yesterday when I turned up unexpectedly and she told me so. But then clung onto my leg so I couldn’t walk properly.
Like last week when it felt like she was so old compared to all the youngsters doing what she used to, we’re now starting to tread our different paths in life.
She’s really loving school, always happy. Tired by Thursday, absolutely shattered but happy. Me? I’m tired, permanently. Working, cooking, eating, watching, sleeping. Shaun is working and working. Still, it’s half term in just over four weeks.