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No amount of posts about a child starting school prepares you for it.

I am the mum who starts crying with my child when I realise it’s our last time together on my day off, as next week she’ll be at school for half of the day (and the week after). Said child then thinks it’s hilarious and wipes my eyes while laughing at me – she never sees mummy cry, it’s very funny.

I am the mum who gets tearful on the visit from the teachers when they arrive, and check with them, only to be told that yes, I’m the only one who got tearful.

I am the mum who has bought too much uniform. I’ve paid full price for uniform. I’ve spent a lot. I bet she grows a foot by half term.

I am the mum who is starting to get the nervous feeling in me. That’s not unique, I think everyone goes through that.

I am the mum who is mourning the fact my child is in limbo, no longer in nursery and not yet in school. This would explain the nights of anger, the changes. This week she thinks she’s grown up but last week she didn’t and she just slept.

I am the mum who is just as confused as the next mum in line as we prepare to be bombarded with school things. But it’ll be fine. I’m still nervous. That’s normal too.

I am going to be the mum who is like my own mum on that nervous first morning. I know it, and I can’t avoid it. I don’t want to be like that but I don’t know any other way.